I don't get to see my SIL as much as I would like to anymore. (she use to live around the corner and now she lives 6 hours away)
I was delighted to have her and her wonderful family stay with us last night as they passed through on their way home from a family vacation.
This morning, over coffee, we were discussing a workshop we attended a few years ago. During the workshop we were asked to write our ultimate life goal, who did I want to be at the end of my life (no pressure) At the time, I remember thinking, there must be something wrong with me, I can't come up with an ultimate goal, it is too hard, what could I possibly come up with that is as all encompassing as an ultimate life goal. I really didn't want to come up with such a grandiose statement. So I didn't. ( I know that probably made me a poor student in that workshop, I have let it go, I am ok with it)
I am content in the life that I have right now I work hard, play hard, I try to be kind and to be a good person. I love. I take time for self care and hobbies.
So you see, saying I need an ultimate life goal feels like somehow the life I have now is not enough and that I should be striving for more. I was relieved to hear that my SIL felt the same way and she chose not to come up with an ultimate life goal either. My life as I know it is pretty darn good. My story, like everyone's, has some happy parts, some sad parts, some "what was I thinking" parts. but the some of those parts make me who I am. Right now, I am happy with who I am. I know that each moment changes us. I will never be the same as I am right now. Every moment in time has an effect on us. So in ten years from now, or at the end of my life I will not be the same person I am now. I will continue to grow and learn until I take my last breath. I don't think I need to strive, to try hard to be something different. I will be different, it is just a matter of fact. I believe there is a reason I am who I am, there is a plan for me. My job is to just be the best me I can be and I don't think I need to work at changing, changing happens whether we want it to or not. So I am content with my life now and at the end of my life I will be a different person, living in a different situation. So can I be happy with who and what I am now, when I know there is a something different waiting ahead for me and that I will never be the same as I am now? I hope to be content in that situation as well, is that possible? I think so!
I have been entertaining these thoughts all afternoon and I think I have finally come up with my ultimate life goal.... My Ultimate Life Goal is to be content.
So at the end of my life, it is my goal that the people who love me will remember me as a person, who was content, no matter what life situation I was living at the moment!
And to my beautiful SIL, I know in my heart, I will always know you as a kind, loving person who is content.