1. I journaled some days, but most days I said to myself, this sutra did not come to me today, OR the story I have to tell about how this sutra came to me is too long, I don't want to write it all down, it will take too long. Both these excused caused me great guilt.
2. The guilt I felt because I may or may not have written in my journal as much as I felt I should have, could have or wanted to was created by little ol' me. (as I stated in the title, it is my superpower...tadadadaaaa super guilt yogi, able to reduce myself into a pile of insecurity and unease in one giant leap)
3. Each time I felt this self created guilt, my sutra was speaking to me.....the irony......you see in my sutra it says that our mind can be clouded from seeing things as they truly are and these clouds can come from imagination or memory.
4. Here comes the mind blowing part. I needed to feel the guilt of feeling like I had done a poor job, in order to learn the lesson I needed to learn and in turn being successful in my project!
Soooo I have now learned two important lessons.
* I should be sure there is actually a stresser causing me stress before I allow myself to start getting all freaked out about whatever I perceive as stressful, scary, guilt inducing, the list goes on and on. because I have learned I am great at creating (or perceiving) stressers where there are none.
* If I am feeling emotions that may be a creation of my own mind and not an actual reason to feel freaked out, then I shouldn't be too hard on myself, because this is a lesson learned in time....and hey this is my journey, my walk home, in this time and place and I am going to enjoy the scenery along the way! (even if some days I think the scenery is stressful or scary or guilt inducing, it's really just all in my head .sometimes. hey, I'm not done learning )